Things you need to know if you want to move to the South.

[Vaquero]

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. Onced and Twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.
9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something.
10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural.
17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco, and ketchup.
20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.
21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)
22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
23. You know what a hissy fit is..
24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.
AND one more:
27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!


RP

[GFK]

[fortyshooter]

A big 10-4 on that!

[Rifletom]

And I'm believing every dang one of 'em! You Southerner's!

[Luv the lever]

Love it

[BrokenolMarine]

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
1a An Armadillo is an armored possum that doesn't flatten when hit, but rolls on his back dead and sticks his feet in the air, hence the term, possum on the half shell.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
3a. Centipedes grow wide and long here, grasshoppers grow huge, Flies sound like vacuum cleaners, and they all bite as well.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. Onced and Twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.
9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something.
10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'
13a. Jeet Yet? Is an invitation to accompany the asker to the upcoming meal.
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural.
16a. You'all encompasses a large gathering.
17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco, and ketchup.
20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.
21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)
22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
23. You know what a hissy fit is..
24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.
AND one more:
27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!
28. We will stop and help those in need and will dang sure be offended if you offer to pay. However, a cold drink afterward is always appreciated.
29. You'll treat the ladies with respect or answer to family. Her brothers will show up to explain why. If she doesn't have brothers, she can borrow some.
30. If the disrespect was too bad, her Father might show up. Run.
31. The porch is a social experience.
31. Courtesy hasn't gone out of style here, and rudeness isn't really tolerated. At least not in small towns.


RP

[BrokenolMarine]

Loved the post, just had to add a few. I'm sure there are more.

[Vaquero]

Loved it, Marine.

RP

[BigAl52]

And its still the USA down there

[markiver54]

" do what? " has nothing to do with doing anything at all. It means, " what did you say? "

[clovishound]

In the South a dozen guns is considered a starter kit.

[Hatchdog]

This lifetime northern boy can really appreciate the above sentiments. While it’s fine here where I live it’s not anywhere close to what is stated on the list. Good stuff.

[The Happy Kaboomer]

OP must be a D--- yankee that knows NOTHING about the south.

[Vaquero]

OP must be a D--- yankee that knows NOTHING about the south.

Born in SW KY, and raised in central W TN.
It ain't south south but it sure as Hell ain't yankee-ville.
I just copied and shared.

RP

[Rifletom]

Careful there HK. It was simply humor. Tread lightly.

[markiver54]

OP must be a D--- yankee that knows NOTHING about the south.

WRONG!!
I found it ALL to be pretty spot on!

[BigAl52]

IMG_0055.jpeg (1.39 MiB) Viewed 834 times

[CT_Shooter]

And its still the USA down there

And this is the flag of the USA down there.

[Vaquero]

For the whole DAMN country CT. Come on, man.
But you can bet your sweet you know what,
there are a Ton of the Confederate Flags flown down here.
Painted on Barns, walls, cars, you name it.
Heck I can take to Two local state highways that has had one painted across it.
I generally have one flying around here, but I don't at the present time.

RP

[Cowboy Gun Fan]

By the way, Kentucky sure is a Southern State in my opinion.