"That's Life", or where did I go wrong.

[cooperhawk]

So last week my step daughter, (Carol's only child), announced to me that if something happens to either one of us the other would not be allowed to live here on the homestead alone. (Wait, what?). Yup, that's what she said. She thinks we wouldn't be able to care for ourselves. Really?

She lives in the big city now with her family and is very anti gun and all that Liberal stuff. We just took she and her family with us on our trip to Door County, Wi. in our motorhome and guess who did all the driving and who did all the cooking. That's right, Carol and I. Personally I think we're more than competent to carry on alone if that happens. Anyway............I will fight her al the way if it comes to that.

I see our children and grand children making life decisions that I would surely advise against, but they don't listen. I guess once they got out into society they learned better, but I sure don't like to see them make the same mistakes that I made. I'd like to be able to talk sense to them, but they seem to know better now.

My oldest daughter however, (the Psychologist), always listens to Dad and usually follows my advice. (She's my sweetheart), but the others don't.

I guess all we can do is hope for the best and try to caution them even if they don't listen.

[BrokenolMarine]

Yeah, not One of my children would dare to tell me what I am allowed to do.

They might suggest things I shouldn't.
* A Harely? Really Dad? With one bad leg and a fake knee. You shouldn't.
* Umm... I know skydiving has always been on your bucket list, but, do you really think you should... At seventy?

If something happened to Miss T, I would continue on here in the boonies, not looking for company. I'd work in my Shop, watch movies, read, and enjoy the quiet. It's why we moved out here.

I'd hire someone to come in once every couple weeks to do the things I couldn't.

[BigAl52]

All she would end up doing is make both of your lives miserable. Not fair to you or her.

[Cowboy Gun Fan]

I'm confused about the ownership. If one spouse dies before the other, the property goes to the surviving spouse.

Other than that, yeah many young-in's today sure have different ideas than the previous generations.

[Mags]

... I see our children and grand children making life decisions that I would surely advise against, but they don't listen. I guess once they got out into society they learned better,...

I've shared with my kids that until they have lived in society until their mid-30's or later that they really don't have a solid grasp on the reality of the worlds workings. Not enough knocks in life yet. I also suggested the minimum voting age should be 30. "Ya sure dad". Now that they are older it's "ya dad you were right".

[Ernie]

At this stage of my life being told I would not be allowed to do something I decided to do wouldn't slow me down much.

[HenryFan]

cooperhawk -

You obviously do not understand. Probably because you are not young enough to know it all.

[HenryFan]

[/quote]
Now that they are older it's "ya dad you were right".
[/quote]

It's amazing how much smarter my father got as I grew older.

[Vaquero]

Now that they are older it's "ya dad you were right".
[/quote]

It's amazing how much smarter my father got as I grew older.
[/quote]

Yep. And I lost mine too soon, he was 62 and I was 25.

RP

[DsGrouse]

Make sure you have your POA, set up with the family members you want to have it.

I've seen a number of blended and nonblended families torn apart when the kids start trying to get POA. It's usually the less reputable member of the family who goes in seeking POA and gets it before the parents or other siblings find out. Then, it is a whole other set of court hearings and professional visits to find out if the elderly family members are sound enough to take care of themselves.

At that point any savings, land, home, and assets are either eaten up by court costs, or disposed of by the POA.


Edit, this isn't legal advice, seek the advice and council of a family law attorney who learns your specific situation.

[cooperhawk]

Carol, (my Wife), is an attorney and she sets this up for folks all the time. It's not unusual to have whole families in her conference room
quarreling over who gets what. Most of the time it just junk that they're fighting over.
Our daughter is in for a rude awakening if she tries any of this on either of us.

[GFK]

While, she probably means well. But, I understand. Most want to live life on their own terms. Our youngest one is similar. She does listen, yet she expresses concerns about our well-being: eating healthy, exercising, doctor check-ups and such. I am not crazy about living with other people. So, I probably will stay at home, as long as I am able.

[rickhem]

I'm probably reading between the lines here, maybe a little too much, but anyway: If you go first, maybe the step daughter doesn't want her mom doing what the step daughter perceives as hard labor, maintaining the residence, and living in solitude, when she could just live in the more populated location with her. If your wife goes first, I'll bet that the initial clash that follows immediately thereafter will forever put an end to any semblance of an amicable relationship between her and you, and you'll both go your separate ways.
When my mother-in-law passed, my FIL, who was a great guy, had to move in with us. He was "taken care of" his whole life, knew nothing of his finances or any household routine activities, so him living alone was not realistic. His wife and his two daughters did everything. If your step daughter views her mom like that, I can kind of understand her concern for her mom like that.

[cooperhawk]

If your wife goes first, I'll bet that the initial clash that follows immediately thereafter will forever put an end to any semblance of an amicable relationship between her and you, and you'll both go your separate ways.

I think you're probably quite right with that observation. Before I met Carol I lived with my two boys alone for 17 years. I did all the cooking and cleaning myself, (except for that good looking cleaning lady who came every two weeks), and I am surely capable of taking care of myself again.
As I am quite a bit older that Carol I would expect me to go first and then if Carol wants to move to town she's more than capable to do it on her own.
Either way the youngest daughter won't get very far.