Defending the homeland against intruders
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2023 3:09 pm
Mowing the yard the other day when i saw something buzz past my head, circle back and land on my hand. Sudden pain told me i was stung. Swatted the fiend away and looked back to see a gob of a hundred or so yellow jackets buzzing around a hole in the ground in my yard that i had just mowed over. As Yosemite Sam would have said.. " This means war!"
I began to plot my counter offensive. After the unwelcome intruders had settled back into their fortress, i realized i didnt know exactly where the hole was,(which would be critical intel for any sucessful attack.... at least if i did not want any more collateral damage) I finally decieded to conduct a recon mission inside an armored vehicle (my toyota pickup with the windows rolled up) After gathering the critical data on location i retired to my war room to do an inventory of what munitions i had on hand with which to begin an assult on the foreign invaders. I was out of gasoline, so i looked deeper into my available bug fighting stockpile and came across a quart or so of mineral spirits. Having observed the last time i ventured to use this product on a project, that it was quite capable of quickly crossing your eyes if you dared open it in an area with less than excellent ventalition, i felt it had a good deal of potential for this expedition.
I seized it, and after putting on a flack jacket ( my heavy winter coat all zipped up) i headed out to the field of battle to attempt to free my little kingdom from these interlopers. Cautiously approaching the enemy encampment, i observed four guards at the gates to their bunker. Unfortunately for their side, they were slow to take counter measures. I chugged and glugged about two thirds of the bottle down their hole and they were it appeared that it effectively nuked them as NONE managed to rise out and fight. Of course, in any war , one must followup quickly to maintain any tactical advantage obtained on the battlefield, so i got a quart of transmission fluid and poured it in the hole for good measure (to help hold the mineral spirit vapors in place and gob up the escape route.) The campaign appears to be a complete sucess . After three days i have checked and rechecked the hole. Poked steel rods down in it and wallowed them about and still no sign of any enemy combatants.
Long live the mother land !
I began to plot my counter offensive. After the unwelcome intruders had settled back into their fortress, i realized i didnt know exactly where the hole was,(which would be critical intel for any sucessful attack.... at least if i did not want any more collateral damage) I finally decieded to conduct a recon mission inside an armored vehicle (my toyota pickup with the windows rolled up) After gathering the critical data on location i retired to my war room to do an inventory of what munitions i had on hand with which to begin an assult on the foreign invaders. I was out of gasoline, so i looked deeper into my available bug fighting stockpile and came across a quart or so of mineral spirits. Having observed the last time i ventured to use this product on a project, that it was quite capable of quickly crossing your eyes if you dared open it in an area with less than excellent ventalition, i felt it had a good deal of potential for this expedition.
I seized it, and after putting on a flack jacket ( my heavy winter coat all zipped up) i headed out to the field of battle to attempt to free my little kingdom from these interlopers. Cautiously approaching the enemy encampment, i observed four guards at the gates to their bunker. Unfortunately for their side, they were slow to take counter measures. I chugged and glugged about two thirds of the bottle down their hole and they were it appeared that it effectively nuked them as NONE managed to rise out and fight. Of course, in any war , one must followup quickly to maintain any tactical advantage obtained on the battlefield, so i got a quart of transmission fluid and poured it in the hole for good measure (to help hold the mineral spirit vapors in place and gob up the escape route.) The campaign appears to be a complete sucess . After three days i have checked and rechecked the hole. Poked steel rods down in it and wallowed them about and still no sign of any enemy combatants.
Long live the mother land !