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PSA - Don't Wait Too Long

Sit back and talk with friends. Same rules as before. Rule #1-Relax with friends on the front or back porch.
Rule #2-No Politics, religion or anything above a G level.
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BrokenolMarine
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PSA - Don't Wait Too Long

Post by BrokenolMarine » Thu Jan 13, 2022 12:49 am

I had the honor so many years ago, to teach young officers to shoot, and to survive on the street. I taught Street Survival and Officer Safety in the Academy, and was a department firearms instructor. I was also lucky enough to be a Patrol Field Training Officer and senior enough, eventually, to have my pick of the Academy Graduates to train. So, I usually enjoyed the training. Many of my recruits went on to become supervisors or fellow training officers, or Good Friends...

I trained one officer from New York, who had never touched a real firearm before he came to us, but worked hard in the academy and afterwards, and became an excellent shot. He also proved to be an excellent instructor. When a slot on the firearms training staff opened up, I highly recommended him for the position. We taught together for nearly ten years both on the range and eventually in the academy. We worked patrol together on Midnights and Evenings until a Training Coordinator slot opened up on Dayshift. I was offered the position and wasn't the least interested in leaving midnights for days and working side by side with the Chief. I recommended him and he moved to days. We stayed in touch and met for breakfast as I came off shift and he would go on at least once a month. Of course, I didn't see nearly as much of one another unless we were running a range evolution or teaching in the academy.

Just before I moved to Fish and Game, I recommended him as Chief Firearms Instructor and suggested he chose his assistant. Shortly after I left, I heard he had an incident occur that disrupted his life for a few months, and one of the gossips on Dayshift brought my name in the mix. I had no idea he had run into trouble at home, or any of the facts, but she stirred the pot. By the time I found out about it, the seeds were sown, and our close relationship had been damaged. When he found out who had really caused the damage, I had moved on and we never really got back into our routine. We never met for coffee again, or met for lunch. We had been closer than brothers and I always meant to pick up the phone and call.... but life moves fast, I was learning the new job at Fish and Game then my position at State Police and before I knew it, a decade had flown by. Then two.

Yesterday, I got a call from another of the recruits I had trained. This one had worked his way all the way up to Sergeant.... then moved to the fire department in the County and now has more than 25 years on the job. He wanted to let me know that my "Brother" was very ill and I might want to call. We talked for a couple hours, catching up. This guy died, that guy died, this guy moved to Colorado, that guy to Florida.

When the call ended, I got the number and called my old brother. His wife answered, and said she remembered me, and that her husband had spoken of me fondly over the years, but was too proud to make the call, and now it was too late. He was asleep, and had been for four straight days. They didn't expect him to awaken. His priest had been by. She said it wouldn't be long, a day or two.

I still call my other patrol partner a couple times a week. He lost a leg to diabetes two years ago, and we talk for an hour or so each time I call. He calls when he gets bored as well. WE stay in touch. Every now and then his wife will call, and say, "Call him, he's depressed." I call.

Here is the PSA part. If you have been thinking, "Maybe I should call old so and so." Don't wait. If you keep putting it off, tomorrow might be too late.

:?
You can tell a lot about the character of a man...
by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him.

I don't look back at the things I can no longer do, I just look forward to the things I still can.

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cooperhawk
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Re: PSA - Don't Wait Too Long

Post by cooperhawk » Thu Jan 13, 2022 9:27 am

It comes with the territory my friend. I trained a lot of folks and nearly every day now I get the
notice that one of them has passed. I am frankly amazed that I have outlived so many. :roll:
Retired FAA Air Traffic Control Supervisor
VFW (Life Member), VVA (Life Member)
Legion (Life Member), NRA (Life Member)
U S Army Aviation 64-67, Vietnam MACV 65-66

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BrokenolMarine
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Re: PSA - Don't Wait Too Long

Post by BrokenolMarine » Thu Jan 13, 2022 11:44 am

Yup, I hear about those guys on a regular basis. This was one of those "if only I had," times. :roll: I drove past the HQ on a regular basis for years after I moved to other departments , and often thought I could come in early and stop fir lunch at the county. Just never did. :? It's not the end of the world, just wish I could have ragged on my friend one more time. Told him they built the sidewalks too close to his butt.
You can tell a lot about the character of a man...
by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him.

I don't look back at the things I can no longer do, I just look forward to the things I still can.

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cooperhawk
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Re: PSA - Don't Wait Too Long

Post by cooperhawk » Thu Jan 13, 2022 11:54 am

I believe in "Give them roots and then give them wings", so I drive by the place weekly but never stop.
Of course my secret clearance is no longer current so I probably couldn't get in these days.
Once I retired I felt I needed to just leave them alone to do what they'd been taught.
I run into one once in a while and I see them on Facebook as well. That's enough.

One thing I will relate. I commented on something on Facebook that a young woman who had worked for
me posted. She replied, "thank you sir". The sir kinda hurt my feelings. I've been retired for over 20 years
and feel like we can relate to one another as regular folks do, so I asked some others that worked for me
that I email with. Their reply was "Respect". I guess I should feel flattered, but I just want to be friends.

Life goes on.
Retired FAA Air Traffic Control Supervisor
VFW (Life Member), VVA (Life Member)
Legion (Life Member), NRA (Life Member)
U S Army Aviation 64-67, Vietnam MACV 65-66

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North Country Gal
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Re: PSA - Don't Wait Too Long

Post by North Country Gal » Thu Jan 13, 2022 5:01 pm

So true, so true. Thank-you so very much for sharing this story. Really hits home for me.

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daytime dave
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Re: PSA - Don't Wait Too Long

Post by daytime dave » Fri Jan 14, 2022 2:48 pm

Me too Marine. Hits home really hard. Just yesterday I was dusting off a small photograph of someone who I wish I had gone to see one last time before I couldn't anymore. I made it to his funeral but it was too late then to tell him what he had meant to me. I don't think he knew how much I thought of him. At the funeral I waited twenty minutes to tell his wife, she was in a deep conversation with someone so I turned to leave and his middle son came up to me and had recognized me. I ended up telling him. He knew his father and I had gotten along well. His father was a leader in my scout group. He was the most squared away individual I had ever met. He knew all about any conceivable subject imaginable. He had the type of demeanor I wished I could have had at the time, quiet confidence. He had three sons, two of which were involved in the Scouts. The youngest was the opposite of his father and a trouble maker. The middle son was a lot older than I was and out of scouts just about as I was getting in. The man was a hunter and enjoyed the outdoors. His knowledge of all things camping far exceeded anyone else's on our monthly camping trips. I went on two National Scout trips with him in the group, the second and last as part of the leadership myself. By then I had earned his respect and acceptance and one of those who "knew which end was up". It had taken quite a while, but I had always wanted to be in the small group of people that he accepted. I found that those were the only people that I really accepted too. I had developed similar standards in my own life at the time. After the second scout event, I started my career, lived an event filled life and never saw him again. Someone I worked with asked me if I knew him many years later. I said yes. He was a family friend and they described how they knew him. I explained how I knew him and that I thought highly of him. A few years later this same person came to me and said I should go see him as he had cancer and the end was very near. At this point I was raising my children by myself and was not sleeping very much. I wanted to go see him, to thank him for all the knowledge and good lessons he had given me. Each time I made a point to make time, something came up. After he passed, I decided I needed to go to the calling hours. I am glad his son recognized me. His son spoke to the wife after I left and a few weeks later she sent a photograph to my parents of me receiving my Eaglescout award with my parents standing with me. Her husband had taken it and she thought I might like it. That photograph and the one I took of him at one of the National events (just dusted off) remain in my display cabinet.

Thank you for telling your story Marine and allowing me to tell mine. You are right, don't wait too long.
Some days I'm Andy, most days I'm Barney........
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CT_Shooter
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Re: PSA - Don't Wait Too Long

Post by CT_Shooter » Fri Jan 14, 2022 5:17 pm

Dave, your memory of your mentor and friend is heartwarming. His influence is obvious. It reminds me of a scouting memory, too.

I think Norman was in his late teens or early twenties when I was eleven or so. We were both members of Troop 2. Norman was what is now referred to as intellectually challenged, but his devotion, attention, and commitment to his membership in the Troop was unmatched. He was an essential element in the Troop's attitude and character.

I left scouting in my mid-teens and never saw Norman again until I was fifty plus years old and my wife, my mother-in-law, and I stepped into an elevator in a medical building. Standing there was Norman; older for sure, but no doubt about it, it was Norman. He was with his mother. As soon as I saw him, I recognized him and re-introduced myself, reminding him that we were both scouts in Troop 2. I shook his hand and told him how much I've always admired him and how influential he had been in my life.

Norman surely did not recognize me, but he understood, and was kind, and shook my hand. It was the look on his mother's face that has stayed with me all these years. She was beaming with pride and appreciation.

I'm so glad I had the opportunity to thank them.
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clovishound
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Re: PSA - Don't Wait Too Long

Post by clovishound » Sat Jan 15, 2022 8:22 am

I will share this one here as well.

When I was in the Reserves there was a fellow crewmember that I, and everyone else thought a great deal of. For a while I thought it would be a good idea to let him know how I felt. So one day as we were in the parking lot getting ready to go home, I got the urge to say something to him. I went and told him that I wanted him to know that if I ever had to go into a burning aircraft to pull out crew that I would look for his bald head first. Knowing this was my awkward way of telling him what I thought of him, he laughed and shook my hand.

Later that year he had a grand mal seizure in flight. He was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor, and died not long afterwards.

Life is short, don't assume you have time to say and do all you want to. Also, don't hesitate to listen to that voice in your head prompting you to let those you care about know how you feel.
There is, I think, humor here which does not translate well from English to sanity. - Sanya

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Re: PSA - Don't Wait Too Long

Post by The Happy Kaboomer » Sun Jan 16, 2022 6:40 pm

Great post.

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